Planning For the Big Day

Posted on April 17, 2018 by

Hearing the ringing bells? Congratulations to you and your other half! Clueless about what to do for your big day and want a personalized wedding but do not want to throw in huge stacks of cash to hire expensive wedding planners? You are not alone as many other couples out there be it due to their budget constraints or strong love for DIY, they choose to be their own planners. But be prepared to be swarm with mountain of things on your plate ranging from decision-making to budget management making planning much more difficult than we think it is.

Keep on reading, as we go about providing tips and guidance for couples who want to plan the happiest moment of their lives.

To start off, search for some inspiration! Some brides may spend countless of hours on Pinterest, some might even purchase a handful of bridal magazines while others hear advice from former brides just to create that very vague vision. Once you have form the basics like the type of bride and wedding you want, making of decisions will be much easier.  Nevertheless, there is bound to be pressure but as long as you are prepared, nothing will bring you down!

Set a budget early, plan the maximum amount you are going to spend on each category be it vendors or decorations and stick to it throughout the planning process so as to not go over budget, as many couples because of their wedding, land themselves in mountains of debt which takes them years to clear. You will not want that to happen!

After getting engaged to the man of your dreams, you will be filled with excitement and have the urge to book everything as quickly as possible. But do not rush and make irrational decisions! Spend some time getting to know what you exactly you want before approaching the vendors and signing the agreement Date selection is also critical as it gives you time to save up for the wedding of your dreams.

Gather your squad to propose ideas or help with some of the wedding tasks. Get them involved and to help out with things that require DIY to save some extra bucks or researching for alternatives.

You will be head over heels with the amount of planning that needs to be done, hence it is advisable to have a monthly to-do list on the go so that you can jot down any thoughts and ideas that pop in your mind. Setting priorities to your tasks from the most important to the least importance can also help in staying organised. Give yourself some breathing space and do not immerse yourself too much doing the wedding planning as you may feel engulfed with stress! There is bound to be time for it!

Always keep your eyes open on the lookout for better prices and compare it alongside with the vendor and package price that you fancy. Who knows you might be able to find a cheaper alternative that is able to offer you the same exact thing!

Don’t feel that you are in this planning process alone, turn to your fiance or closed ones for help along the way. I am sure that they are more than willing to lend you that helping hand. This might even be a good way to bond together as a family!

Enjoy the time spent on planning your dream wedding and make it an enjoyable experience both you and your other half as weddings are a great celebration of love! Cheers!

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Love at First Sight

Posted on March 17, 2018 by

Do anyone believe in love at first sight? There has been many debates over the past decades on whether such a myth is true or false. This word “Love” is used the most and is constantly on the mouth of many individuals. Some of them talk about love like they know it at the back of their fingertips or casually expressing it. But do any one understand the true meaning of it?

Summarizing what is love in two simple sentences: Love is choosing to be at one’s best when your other half is not. Love is when the things you desire is never important, but what the needs and wants of your other half is always paramount.

So what is love at first sight? Love at first sight is when romantic attractions exists just like you have got shot by a cupid, straight at your heart upon seeing a stranger for the first time. Everything about this particular person will be seen as flawless in your eyes and you are willing to do anything that are likely to catch their attentions. Even your emotions move alongside with them. You are filled with happiness and joy, like a happy little puppy when it see it’s treat around this particular someone or when they are away, you tend to feel lost and might isolate yourself away from any other human beings on earth. This is how magical love at first sight could be!

But does it really exist? Some may believe, some may not. Hence, it is very subjective and depends on each individual. But whether it is true or not is not a big issue after all, because in the end we are the ones holding the pen and writing the stories of our lives. If it is fate that you cross path with someone, appreciate it because they may a gift or a lesson taught. The person at first glance may not guarantee a fruitful and everlasting relationship. To do that, it takes time and effort to build. This is just an opportunity given to discover the compatibility and if things will move on to the next stage between both parties.

Do not be frightened to fall in love even with someone unknown because love is beautiful and ever so magical, it just takes more time and patience to nature it and one day, it will bloom into a magnificent tree from an insignificant tiny sprout!

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Career VS Love

Posted on February 17, 2018 by

Ever heard of the famous adage, “You cannot have the best of both worlds”?  Well, unfortunately, it’s true. With time as a scarce resource and the inability to divide ourselves for the competing life goals, it is of little wonder that most individuals find themselves torn between a successful career and lasting love relationship. If you find yourself in the above situation, this article is written specially for you.

Over the last decade, there has been a burgeoning number of singles, especially in the younger age groups of late twenties to thirties. In Singapore, 70% of those in the age group of 25-29 are single, the largest percentage across the different age groups (The Straits Times, 2016).

Many have attributed their singlehood to their pursuit of higher academic excellence (Masters, PhD), career advancement or an ‘involuntary devotion’ to work.

In their mid-twenties to thirties, most adults are in their prime, which makes it the best time to channel their focus into climbing the corporate ladder. It is not hard to see why. When you are young, you have more time, energy and less baggage. You can devote more resources to career building. But, the conflict comes in when this age frame is also the ideal period to get hitched and start a family.

When faced with one of life’s greatest decision as such, what would you choose?

Here, at Dating Moments, we say, choose both. Yes, we started off this article saying that you cannot have the best of both worlds, but we didn’t say you cannot have both worlds. Get the difference?

While you are at the long and winding climb up towards career success, wouldn’t it be nice to have someone alongside you to cheer you on when the going gets tough, to take a break with you when you have been working too hard, to celebrate every time you move up the rungs of the ladder, to stick with you through each struggle along the way. Most importantly, to remind you that no matter how challenging life may be, they will always be there to share your happiness and sorrow, to love you for who you are.

Definitely, relationships can take a backseat as it may be wiser for you to champion career building in your earlier years and chase down your dreams and ambitions. After all, you only live once (YOLO).

However, the balance between work and love must shift as you progress upwards, before it gets too skewed – or too late. Moreover, career advancement is a never-ending road, even when your reach the top of the ladder, you know it simply does not stop there.

Pursuing both career and love at the same time is definitely not impossible, but it does take a great deal of effort to prioritise different goals at different times to weave in the two together. It is akin to the art of juggling – when you can only have one object on each hand, it is important to know when to let go and the right time to grasp, continually.

Hence, to the swinging bachelors and eligible ladies out there who have (un)knowingly devoted themselves entirely to career, while you reach out for your aspirations, we hope you know you can also choose to let love in your life and make that journey even more meaningful.

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Three things to balance when dating in your 30s

Posted on December 17, 2017 by

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Five telling traits to determine compatibility

Posted on October 17, 2017 by

Relationships can be tricky. It’s hard to tell if someone is genuinely attracted to you and how compatible you are. If only there was a way to know if you and your romantic interest match on a deeper level…

Enter “The Big Five”. Many contemporary personality psychologists believe there are five broad categories of personality traits found in individuals. These are Openness to Experience, Conscientiousness, Extraversion, Agreeableness and Neuroticism, or OCEAN for short. These categories are not “black and white” but rather, a spectrum. It is believed that each of us possess a degree of each category of personality within us. The more similar standings we have on the spectrum as another person, the more complementary our personalities and hence the more compatible we are.

While a lot of other factors come into play when deciding if a potential match can be our lifelong partner, The Big Five is nonetheless an insightful and interesting way to see just how well we can get along.

Openness to Experience (vs Close-Mindedness)

People who score high on this spectrum are more “open”, in the way that they are curious, creative, and have a wide variety of interests. They are easily excitable and may hold values that are deemed unconventional. Always willing to try new things, they have a sense of adventure and enjoy a challenge. They tend to adjust better to changes than those who are close-minded, who would much rather stick with the status quo.

Conscientiousness (vs Disorganisation)

A person who is highly conscientious is efficient, organised and careful. They are self-disciplined and work hard at accomplishing their goals. They prefer routine to spontaneity and are not prone to succumbing to their own impulses, unlike those who are more disorganised. These individuals have incredible self-control and a good sense of personal direction.

Extraversion (vs Introversion)

A commonly-discusses trait in personality tests, extraversion measures how sociable and outgoing we are, and whether the presence of new experiences and abundant interaction energises us or drains us. A person who is more extraverted is often the “life of the party” and will be the centre of attention wherever they go. They are more enthusiastic and assertive, while someone who is more introverted is more withdrawn and requires some alone time after days of activity to recharge. Extraverts thrive in group settings and parties while introverts prefer one-on-one scenarios, ideally in a more peaceful environment.

Agreeableness (vs Antagonism)

Those who are agreeable get along better with others. They are forgiving and warm, which is due to their strong sense of empathy and sensitivity. They are kind and considerate, and believe in finding middle-ground so that both parties are at peace. Their antagonistic counterpart places self-interests above the interests of others, resulting in them being more uncooperative and stubborn. Antagonists are critical and more aggressive when dealing with those around them.

Neuroticism (vs Emotional Stability)

Neuroticism refers to a person’s susceptibility to negative emotions like anxiety and depression. Neurotics are more easily irritable and worry a lot as they over-think many aspects of their life. They can be very tense and moody, and do not react well to stressful situations. Meanwhile, someone who is more emotionally stable is content and confident, and less self-conscious. Unlike the previous four categories, someone who is more neurotic would be more compatible with someone more emotionally stable, as the latter can help to calm them down and keep their mind at ease.

You may try out The Big Five personality test for yourself online.

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Five qualities that will make you extremely likeable

Posted on August 17, 2017 by

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Never doubt your partner’s love for you again

Posted on June 17, 2017 by

Have you ever had friends come up to you questioning if their partner is really “into” them? My friends have told me stories lamenting that their partner doesn’t spring them any romantic surprises, isn’t creative when planning dates, or simply takes forever to respond to their messages. Do all these meana that your partner doesn’t like you enough? Not necessarily.

During times like these, it is important to remember that we are all different, and so is the way we display our affection. Just because our partner doesn’t give us love in the way we expect or desire does not mean they do not love us. In fact, we may receive love from them in numerous ways we don’t realise because we’re too busy harping on what we want instead of giving thanks for what we have.

As we have mentioned before, there are five different love languages, which will explain the various ways we express our love for one another. If you’re doubting your partner’s interest in you, it could be because your love languages are vastly different. This difference will affect your compatibility to some degree, but it does not have to hinder your relationship from moving forward.

What can be done to solve this is open and honest communication. Inform your partner of your own personal needs and desires and what they can do differently to make you feel the love you know they have for you. At the same time, allow them to express their own feelings and opinions on how much they can do for you, and what you can do to make them feel wanted as well. It is important that you both come to an understanding and compromise as much as you are comfortable with.

At the same time, we cannot expect them to change so completely to be the exact person we want them to be. We should accept our partner as they are and be thankful for the little things they do for us. Their way of presenting their affection for us may not be ideal to us now, but it is sincere and heartfelt. If we can fully appreciate our partner and their positive actions and words towards us – no matter how big or small – we may discover that they love us more than we were ever aware of. Our partner loves us in their own special way, and in our own special way, we love them too.

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Three questions to remember during arguments

Posted on May 4, 2017 by

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How both of you say “I love you” without really saying it

Posted on February 17, 2017 by

“I love you.”

Those three simple words can cause so much trouble when they’re said too soon, too late, too often, too little. Why are we so hung up on words? They don’t have to be said to be felt. We experience love every day, we’re just unaware of it. Next time you’re with your partner, open your mind and see how their kind intentions speak volumes of their love for you, and how your responses speak of yours.

They love you when they confide in you. There is a door in their heart that they keep locked up, for opening it makes them vulnerable, and being so makes them uncomfortable. And yet, they trust you enough to show you that side of them. They open the door to their souls and pour it all out to you. They let you into their world and tell you things nobody else knows because they want you to accept them for all they are. You love them when you listen, when you withhold all judgements and provide them the safe space for them to be completely themselves. In your following conversations, you bring up the small things they mentioned in passing because you actually listened, because you were focused on them, because you love them. They smile at you, because you paid attention, because you remembered. They love for you for that.

They love you when they make you a priority. “I’m busy with other things” isn’t a common phrase in their vocabulary, at least not when you’re the one asking them out. They make time for you because you’re important to them. Sometimes, they even go out of their way to reschedule other appointments because you’re worth the effort. You love them when you say, “It’s okay, we can do it some other time.” You love them when you don’t control their daily activities, and you allow them time with other people that are important to them and to do things they want to do. You trust them and their happiness is important to you. You value your personal freedom and you respect theirs. They love you when they see you are making yourself part of their world, but not the centre of it. You love them, and you know that at the end of the day – In one way or another – They’re coming home to you.

They love you when they hold on to you through hard times. They fight for you when you’re tired of fighting for yourself. They catch you when you fall and raise you up when you’re down. They make sure that no matter how long you struggle, that your daily needs are met – That you’re eating enough and that you’re sleeping enough. They help you out in any way they can because they want you to get better, and be your best self again. You love them when you hold on to the hand they extend to you, pull yourself together and push through this difficult period in your life. You love them when you’re at your strongest, when you’ve accomplished something meaningful, and they are the first ones you want to tell and celebrate with. You remember how they were always by your side at your worst and you want them to see you at your best. They are so proud of you because they know how many battles you’ve fought and how far you have come. They love your fighting spirit and they love you. You thank them for being there through thick and thin, for being patient, for being caring, for being loving. You promise to do the same for them. You love them when you keep to your word.

There are plenty of ways we express our love for one another that go beyond reciting words. Next time you’re second-guessing whether your partner loves you, think again, because they may love you so much more than you realise. They may not declare it, but they say it with their behaviour, with their gestures, with more than three words could ever convey.

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5 questions to ask yourself before entering a relationship

Posted on December 16, 2016 by

Getting into a relationship is a big deal. This is going to be the one you’ll watch all the exciting new movies with, the one who will care for you when you’re unwell, and the one you’re bringing to family functions as your plus one. Are you ready, or are you questioning if you should take this leap? Perhaps these five questions could help you gain some insight on how you’re really feeling.

1. Am I myself when I’m around them?

We act differently around different people – We laugh the loudest with our friends, become super polite and well-behaved around their parents, and are the hardest workers in front of our bosses! But what side of you do you present to your potential partner? Are you comfortable with who you are when you’re around them? Do they bring out the best version of you? Do they give you positive energy or do they drain you?

2. Am I over my past relationship(s)?

Needless to say, if you’re holding hands with your date and imagining your ex’s fingers interlocking with yours, this probably isn’t the right time to say yes when they ask you to be girlfriend/boyfriend! This is unfair to them as they do not deserve to be a rebound, and it is also unfair to you, because you’re not giving yourself time to completely heal. This could be your significant other in the long-run, but for now, it’ll be best to approach a commitment when you’re no longer pining for someone from your past.

3. Am I romantically interested in them?

Do you like them or do you like the idea of them? Is it a romantic connection that you want with this person, or do you think you’re better off keeping things platonic? When you get along so well, the line can get a little blurry between being “great friends” and being “relationship material”. If they make you feel happier than anyone ever has, or you (think you will) feel sparks or hear fireworks when you two kiss, then go for it!

4. Am I proud to have them as my partner?

When we accept a person, we accept them for all that they are. We love them for and/or in spite of their flaws. Sure, there are things about them that we aren’t too happy with, but we want to be with them regardless. How would you feel introducing them to your family and friends, or bringing them to company dinners? If you have a long list of habits and personality traits you wish they would change, maybe it would be better to look for someone else who more appropriately fits your ideal of your special someone.

5. Am I a complete person all on my own?

You can’t be someone’s other half without being whole by yourself. The cliché rings true – You must love yourself first before you can love anyone another. Are you comfortable being alone? Could you possibly only be seeking company so you have someone/anyone? You are such an amazing individual and being with a lover should not make you less of such!

What were your answers? Are there other important questions we’ve missed out? We hope we’ve given you some clarity on whether to commit yourself to this special person now, or to wait until you’re finally ready. Whatever it may be, we here at Dating Moments are all rooting for you to live your happiest life! Good luck!

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What if there’s someone better?

Posted on October 21, 2016 by

Your partner is good. They make you laugh, they hold you when you’re upset, and they will always put some time aside for just the two of you. They’re good. But what if there’s better? Are you “settling”?

The thing is, there will always be someone “better” than them. There will be someone funnier, someone better looking, someone smarter, someone richer. But there will always be someone better than you too. Just because there is someone “better” does not make your partner less of the loving person they are, and it does not make other people “better” people for you.

The best person for you will treat you with the love and respect you deserve. They will care for you when you’re unwell. They will do what they can to make you smile. They will bring you to movies they know you’d want to see and take you out to your favourite food place. They will know these things about you because they remember you bringing them up in conversation. They will notice the little things you do for them. They will appreciate you.

When you fight, they will not hit you where you hurt the most. They will not try to make you jealous, they will not destroy your trust. They will not deliberately try to upset you because they don’t ever want to see you sad. They will not want to build a wall between the two of you, but a home together with you.

The best person for you is the one that chooses to be with you through it all. They encourage you, they share their life with you, they love you. They may not be perfect, but they are yours as much as you are theirs.

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The difference between falling in love and staying in love

Posted on August 19, 2016 by

Your eyes begin to sparkle like a child’s on Christmas morning, you feel yourself flush with excitement at the thought of seeing them again, and your world lights up with endless possibilities. Congratulations you’re falling in love! Relish in the sweetness of the honeymoon phase, but bear in mind that what happens after is the determining factor of the true strength of your relationship.

When you’re in love with someone, everything seems to pass by in a flash. You’re giddy with happiness and crazy about each other. There is no room for anything else in your mind but the sound of their laughter and the way they look at you. You ache to be in their presence and nothing can compare to the exhilaration they make you feel.

However, there will come a day when you stop exploring each other’s minds and start having mundane conversations about what happened in the office. You stop taking ages to prepare for your date, and you don’t reserve seats at a fancy café. You’re lazing about together watching movies on your laptop while playing games on your phone. You’re comfortable.

The comfortable phase is not a bad phase to be in. In fact, it’s an achievement that you two have been together long enough to be completely natural around your partner. However, when your emotions and your relationship stabilise, that’s when the real challenges kick in.

To stay in love with someone takes more than just occasional days out and lying on the grass watching the clouds roll by. It’s taking a conscious effort to hold on to your bond and to make it stronger than it was before. It’s standing beside them even when times get rough, seeing them at their absolute worst, and still being able to offer a listening ear, a helping hand, a loving heart. It’s being honest even when the truth isn’t pretty. It’s communicating your differences and looking for compromise. It’s knowing you won’t always get along and not letting your arguments define the nature of your relationship. It’s making sacrifices you sometimes don’t want to make, but you know you have to because it’s for the best.

Ultimately, it’s being aware of all that they are and not wanting them any other way. It can be hard work sometimes, but it’s worth it. We hope that all of you are able to stay in love for a long, long time!

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The Reward Theory of Attraction: Like me to like you

Posted on May 15, 2016 by

Can you like someone for no reason? Possibly, but that’s probably not the case. Whether we’re aware of it or not, there are psychological reasons as to why we find someone outstandingly attractive. “The Reward Theory of Attraction” provides us with insight into some of these reasons.

This theory in a nutshell, is based on generosity, proximity, appearance, similar viewpoints and reciprocity. A little hard to understand? Don’t worry, we’ll break it down for you!

1. We like people that reward us by giving us something we value and expecting little in return.
For instance, if someone we like walks past us and gives us a smile and a slight nod of their head, we brighten up almost instantly. We have been “rewarded” with acknowledgement and all we have to do is smile in return. It’s positive reinforcement that we have done something right, and should continue onward.

2. We like people that reward us with convenience, by being geographically close to us.
We are aware that it will cost us less time, money and effort to like someone in our neighbourhood or workplace, compared to someone who lives halfway across the world. Sure, long distance relationships are very much possible, but as humans, we desire instant gratification. At the end of the day, it is much more likely we will get together with someone easily accessible to us compared to a foreign lover in a faraway land.

3. We like people that reward us with something to look at.
We know this sounds shallow, and looks are incredibly subjective, but that doesn’t deny the fact that they play a part in determining who we are attracted to. They may not be Chris Evans or George Clooney, but we may be drawn to the way they dress or their mannerisms because we presume that they possess other desirable traits that we may benefit from. It’s not just about how nice their face is, it’s about how they present themselves.

4. We like people who reward us with common attitudes and beliefs.
This can be done by sharing the same opinions on both serious and whimsical topics. We perceive that by having similar or complementary perspectives, that there is a bond and a mutual attraction. Even if they do have opinions that contrast ours, we will grow fonder of them if we are able to convince them to see from our point of view.

5. We like people who reward us with themselves.
We like to be liked so we like those that like us. Plain and simple. If someone likes us, we tend to have positive feelings about them (because clearly they have great tastes in people haha).

Therefore, the more we feel rewarded with these five aspects, the more we like someone. If we believe that the rewards of being together with this person outweigh the costs by a great margin, we better prepare ourselves… We’re on our way towards developing some serious feelings!

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Technology – the game changer in the dating world

Posted on February 18, 2016 by

In this day and age, technology is advancing at an exponential rate and we are trying to catch up with it. With the world now at our fingertips, everything is becoming so convenient. However, whilst we are getting increasingly connected, are we getting more disconnected as well?

Confessing our undying love has never been easier. No longer do we have to worry about st-st-stuttering over all we want to say and looking like a fool in front of the person we really like. In fact, we can let all our heartfelt words flow through text at no visible consequence (until we see that person again, if we choose to). However, this also makes it significantly harder to judge someone’s genuineness and most people consider this gesture rather insincere and a ‘cop-out’.

Furthermore, the influx of social media is ruining our perception of love and relationships. When we see our couple friends declaring their love for one another on Facebook and have “#relationshipgoals” posts flood our newsfeeds, we are sometimes left turning to our partner and wondering, “Why aren’t we like that?”

It is important to remember that things aren’t always what they seem – people only like to put the best aspects of their lives and relationships on display. The ugly fights and tears don’t make their way to our screens, neither do the boring days sitting across each other glued to our phones scrolling through articles, videos and… other happy couples.

I suppose that’s another reason why we aren’t living the dream – we’re stuck on our phones watching life pass us by instead of getting out there experiencing it! Social media is addicting, so we have to learn to put our phones aside and just live. Bear in mind that not everything has to be shown off; What makes the moment extra special is that it’s being shared between only you and your partner, not you, your partner, and your 800 ‘friends’. It’s your moment. Own it.

Having said that, you can still use technology to liven up your relationship! Send your partner a cute text in the morning, or an emoji in the middle of the day to let them know you’re thinking about them. Couple apps like Couple, LokLok and Kouply are also particularly great if you want to share special memories with your loved one, or when you’re apart. But when you’re together, it should be faces up, phones down!

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No time for love?

Posted on December 20, 2015 by

Image from Pixabay

Nowadays, it’s not uncommon for people to have a hectic schedule squeezed to the brim with appointments. This is especially true in Singapore, one of the busiest countries in the world; We’re all occupied juggling work, friends and family, on top of our own wellbeing and interests. Ask the singles why they haven’t found somebody yet and they’d probably tell you, “Where got time?!”

Here’s the truth: No one is ever “too busy” for anything. There’s a saying that goes. “If it is important enough to you, you will find a way. If it is not, you will find an excuse.” True enough, you make time for what’s meaningful to you. If love’s a priority in your life, you would do your best to network and take time out to go on dates.

However, if you’re really one of those people with way too much on their hands, there’s something else you can do to make sure you tend to your love life too. Haven’t met anyone that sent your heart flying? Chat up someone new at places you have to be at anyway –the gym, your friend’s birthday barbeque, the office pantry etc…

No time to go out with them? Kill two birds with one stone by inviting them to tag along for something you were already planning to do! Maybe you wanted to go watch “Captain America: Civil War” or attend a Zumba class. Why not have company? Need to buy groceries? Do some shopping together. Or simply invite them for lunch (instead of spending your break glued to your computer watching a K-drama and wishing Song Joong-ki was trying to win your heart).

It’s not that hard to squeeze in a date if you take a quick glance at your schedule. Find time for love and love will find you.

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Communiation Pitfalls – Do Avoid!

Posted on September 21, 2015 by

Hey guys,

As many of you would have know for now that a good communication is the main building block of a lasting relationship but did it occur to you that in the midst of communicating to our loved ones, we might be taking them for granted and might have unintentionally “speak” in an undesirable manner.

< For the benefits of all our dear readers, we have listed down some common communication pitfalls for your reading. If it sounds familiar to you, please do something about it !

1. Criticism
We are not referring to constructive criticism/feedback, but rather an attack on the other party’s personality. Criticisms of this sort can really hurt the other person and damage the relationship if you are not careful.
Basically, diagnosing the other’s person’s personality defects is a poor attitude to have. Nobody likes to keep hearing how “unreasonable, overbearing, boring etc” they are!

2. Defensiveness
In an argument, it is inevitable that all of us would jump into a ‘defensive’ mode’, sentence like “I did it only because you reacted that way!” or “It’s not my fault!” would come out. However, this shows to the other party that you have closed yourself up and are not willing to listen to anything else.

If we can take a step back and react less strongly, that makes the equation slightly simple ya?

3. Contempt
When one party thinks he/she is more superior than the other (more intelligent / neater / more capable etc), this would have an impact on the communication. Partners who think they are superior tend to behave in a condescending way and they may even make decisions on behalf of the other person without consulting him/her. Because they feel they are much more superior, they believe that they can make better decision!

So anyone who acts like this, be careful! It’s likely your partner will be unable to stand it one day and simply leave you.

4. Stonewalling
When one begins to withdraw themselves and ‘switch’out, this is a dangerous zone to be in! Such person may feel that by “switching out”, this would avoid confrontations from the partner and may seem very obliged to ‘placate’his/her partner. However as time goes by, the underlying conflicts may get even bigger and leads to irreconcilable differences, which may utimately leads to a break up.

To summarise, all relationships experience conflict but there are better ways of communicating and dealing with the situation. So when you find a partner, or are already in a relationship, remember these 4 pitfalls to avoid.

Good luck on your way to building a successful relationship!

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Simplicity is BLISS

Posted on June 1, 2015 by


Recently a lady girl friend of mine was sharing with me about this elaborate flash mob wedding proposal at Changi Airport. She was commenting that with this video going viral all over Singapore, the men in Singapore would be having a big ‘headache’ as this man had certainly set a high standard to the rest of the guys out there.

However when asked if she was envious of the lady who had such a elaborate wedding proposal, her immediate response to me was “NO”. She has been dating her boyfriend for many years, though she expects her partner to do a proper wedding proposal but not certainly in the style that catches so much attention. To her, she prefers a simple, low-profile wedding proposal so good news for the guys out there, not all women like elaborate proposals 🙂

That drills down to the fact that sometimes doing more does not mean it is better. And also other than lavishing expensive gifts or planning elaborate big plans, there are other ways to make your partner’s day as well.

Let me share with you 3 little tips now. Absolutely hassle-free and almost free! 😉

1. Compliment them

Yes, just a simple compliment will make their day! It does not require elaborate thought and it serves as a reminder why they are special to you in the first place. It could be the simplest of things, like telling them how good they look in that dress/shirt etc

2. Say ‘thank you’

Especially for married couples, where things start to fall into a routine, it may slip your mind to express your appreciation for the little things your partner does for you every day. Just a simple ‘thank you’ to let them know your gratitude will definitely brighten their day. Studies have shown that people with grateful partners feel more connected to each other and are more satisfied in their relationship.

3. Surprise them with a text at work

A text to cheer them on in the middle of a hectic day at the office would be a great way to lift your partner’s spirits. Let them know they are in your thoughts, or that you look forward to seeing them after work. It’s as simple as that, but it will bring the both of you much closer.

As the saying goes “Sometimes the smallest things bring the greatest joy”

Cheers!

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Learn to count your blessings

Posted on March 10, 2015 by



Important Lesson in Life is to Count Your Blessings

As the celebrations for the Lunar New Year ends and its back to our usual daily routines and commitments, with the huge stresses & challenges ahead the year.. there is something that all of you can do to make your days better!

Well, I have been keeping a gratitude journal since the beginning of last year. I was inspired to do something different that would help me appreciate the little things in life more and it has so far proved quite beneficial!

All you need is a simple notebook, a pen and just 15 minutes of your time every day before bed! It is not at all time-consuming and really easy to do. Noting down things that you are thankful for each day before you sleep has also been proven by scientists to help people sleep better!

I know we all have some days where we feel like NOTHING goes right, and we feel really discouraged, thinking all is lost.. but trust me, there is something good that happens every day that you should be thankful for! For example, a nice home-cooked meal at the end of a long day, a refreshing shower to help you relax or even listening to your favourite songs as you slowly drifting off to sleep.

Keeping a gratitude journal will help you appreciate the little things in life and the people around you more. Psychologists have also confirmed that gratitude improves overall mental health by increasing happiness.

I hope this will inspire some of you to start a gratitude journal of your own, I guarantee that you will feel the difference it makes!

Let’s take a small step to make a BIG difference in our lives!

With Love,
Jen

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Dating Refresher Tips

Posted on January 1, 2015 by


Dear Readers,

HAPPY NEW YEAR!! Wishing all of you a blessed 2015 filled with happiness, peace and of course LOVE!!

As it is a fresh year ahead, we are going to go back to basic and revisit on some of the dating concepts that we have mentioned earlier. Then you guys can try to apply and have a fruitful dating journey in 2015! 🙂

1. Dating is a Numbers Game

YES, you heard it before!! Dating is a Numbers Game! This is really a practical concept – the more people you meet, the more likely you would meet your special one earlier. Yes, go on out with anyone whom was introduced by your colleagues, friends, family, professional dating agency like us. Go to the meet up with an open mind and you never know what may come out of it. From our experience, those members who are much more open-minded are more likely to find someone special faster than those members who are not.

But do bear in mind that, though this concept is encouraged, do not go to an extent that you suffer from Dating Fatigue! Dating Fatigue occurs when one goes on dates so frequently that it gets so mentally and emotionally drained out! This is definitely not ideal. Though you want to expand your social circle, you need to exercise discretion what is the “RIGHT” number, so it can worked out in a way like for eg 1-2 date every month and focus on understanding them.

2. Love at first Sight

Some of us still believe in Love at first sight just like what is happening in fairy tale. But the truth and reality is, you can’t tell if your date is ‘THE ONE’ upon your first meeting! It is just too short a timespan to decide your lifetime happiness. And also can you imagine how easy dating would be if you could tell straight away?

Though all of us know that first impression is important but sometimes the first impression is not all to concluding whether the person is your special one. You need time to understand and know someone, their personality, lifestyle, outlook of life etc. It is only then, you would be able to tell if they are the right partner for you. So when you go on dates, do not be too quick to judge, don’t reject the possibility because you don’t think your date is your type. You never know! 😛


3. When you meet ‘THE ONE’, your relationship will be perfect

Thanks to Hollywood, some of us think our relationships would be smooth and perfect when we are with the right one. In today’s smartphone era, we seen too many pictures of lovey-dovey couples on social media and it gives us the perception that they have the perfect relationships and inspire us to have it as well.

However, every couple have their good and bad moments. Even though you may have find the one, you still need to work on and maintain the relationship. A great relationship is when the both of you are willing to communicate effectively, negotiate your problems and differences together. This is when the relationship can grow overtime and be everlasting.

4. Your partner will be your best friend

You see such quotes all the time, about a life partner being your lover and best friend. Well, I truly believe in this totally as I am a real-life walking example! I am thankful to have Edmund by my side throughout these years! He is indeed my strong pillar to rely on whenever I encounter any problems, my best friend whenever I have things to confide in and of course my beloved hubby to shower me with love 🙂

Though it is important to have someone who can communicate and relate to you since he/she will be with you for a lifetime, it is also important to maintain a strong group of external support like your long-time buddies and girlfriends at the same time! So do set aside time to catch up with them!

That comes to an end of my sharing. All the best to your dating journey in 2015!

Wish all of you success!!

With Love from Jen

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Look Good, Feel Better in this Holiday Season

Posted on November 21, 2014 by


Yep, holiday season is approaching as we are coming to the year end.. so in the midst of preparing all the gifts and celebrations, do not forget to “Maintain” yourself to lOOK and FEEL good!



Here are some simple tips that you can pick up to benefit you both physically and mentally:

1. Drink plenty of water
Yes, Bottoms Up!! It is amazing how this simple fluid can do so much good to our bodies! It is recommended that we drink at least 8 glasses of water a day. Drinking enough water actually keeps our body healthy and hydrated. It also improves our complexion! So make sure that you always have a filled glass of water placed on your work desk or bedside table and ensure you are drinking from time to time!

2. Get sufficient sleep at night
As simple as that, LIGHTS OFF early! 🙂
This is an age-old advice for everyone, especially in Singapore! A recent study found that Singapore was the third-most sleep deprived city, our average sleeping hours are 6.5 hours every night which is definitely not ideal! Experts recommend that a person gets 8 hours of sleep every night. This is very important as our bodies needs to rest and recuperate during the night time to get ready for the next day activities! And also, getting sufficient rest will also get rid of those unflattering dark eye circles you have been trying to cover up!

3. Get your body moving
As the magadascar theme song goes ” I Like to move it, move it, she likes to move it, move it….”
Exercising actually increases the amount of endorphins in your body, which makes you feel happier and less stressed out! No matter whether it is running, cycling or just brisk walking in the park, as long as you get yourself moving, it would be beneficial to you! After all, regular exercise would give you a healthy flush on your skin, making you look more radiant on dates. It also strengthens your immune system, which makes you healthy on the inside and outside!

4. Meditate
Besides working out physically, it is good to train for your mind! In today’s context, we have multiple channels of entertainment and have many sources of distractions, so it would be good to set aside 20 – 30 minutes a day to meditate and listen to your own thoughts! It would also help to clear your head after a chaotic day at work. Well, one of the way you can do it is meditate after a rigorous workout and you would feel more refreshed after that! Just get comfortable, find somewhere quiet, and embrace the silence 🙂

5. Eat more fruits and vegetables
Watch your intake and increase your dosage of GREENS! After all, eating healthily is the best way to get a healthy body! Getting the right nutrients for your body would strengthen your immune system as well as benefit your skin! Experts recommend that it is ideal to have a variety of bright coloured fruits and vegetables to add to your daily diet.

6. Spend more time with friends and family
Last but not least, spend time with your loved ones! I have seen way too many people around me spend too much time in their jobs! Remember that your life does not just revolve around Work! Do keep a work-life balance and spend more time on building up fulfilling relationships with your family and your close friends! Having the love and support from your loved ones will make you feel less stressed and alone.

We hope these tips would help you be mentally & physically fit and be ready for the holiday seasons! Of course, do maintain these throughout the year so that you would FEEL and LIVE Better!

With Love from Ed & Jen

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